


Not Determined

by IantoPace



Category: Captain America (Movies), Once Upon a Time (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Father-Daughter Relationship, James "Bucky" Barnes is Jefferson, M/M, New Hat, Paige supports her father(s), Shouldn't have to add that, Tight Pants, Which is Platonic, realm jumping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-03-11 21:34:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3333692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IantoPace/pseuds/IantoPace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jefferson ended up in a wrong realm. Finding Grace, he gets her back then sets about creating a new hat, determined to have Steve with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> I would love a beta, if not for all of my fics then at least for one of them, any of them.

**THIS information is somewhat important.**

 

It might help you understand the following chapter.

  
  


**EXTREMELY LIGHT SPOILERS towards the rest of this story**

**The “psyche ward” it mentions means it was within the following hour after sending Belle to Rumple.**

**Yes, Jefferson and James Buchanan Barnes and Bucky and Winter Soldier are the same person, it is ultimately Jefferson, he took an alias to hide himself because he couldn’t know what else was in these lands.**

  
**In the later part of the paragraph he still doesn’t meet the rest of the Avengers, Steve didn’t want to overwhelm him before he remembers everything on his own**.


	2. Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jefferson might find his daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now have a miraculous beta, GlassRose, so this chapter will be wonderful concerning grammar. My thanks to them.

_Remembering is the worst curse_

_I went to a land and didn’t come back the normal way. Well… my normal way._

_A bit of magic made me grow from a child again, I remembered everything of the other lands at that point. The boy I met was just a boy, and he was the most special boy of my life. Chance landed me in this land shortly after I ran into trouble leaving the hospital where I had freed Belle. I assume the door of the psych ward had created a portal from Storybrooke, where my Grace is stuck. She must be okay. Until I can make my way back she has to be okay, hopefully staying safe with her other family._

_I grew up before I get back to her, fell in love before, became a soldier before, fell before, forgot before, hunt my love before, am rescued before, torturously remembered before._

_I told my love, Steven Rogers, that I have a daughter, back when we were just soldiers but I could still keep him safe from actually joining. He knew her mother was dead and he knew I couldn’t get to her but always promised to return for tea, before I was captured by Zola. He rescued me, and it wasn’t the recent injections that had me smiling like a fool. But although he was different, he was my Steve; he just didn’t look the same for a bit. I felt that he was still my Steve. I wished I had stayed with him like I should have stayed with Grace every time I left, but it was customary for all men to go into war at that time in that land._

_I proudly fought at his newly muscled side, torturously knowing at least a few of those drugs from Zola are for boosting metabolism among other things. As far as the researchers told us, they were a sort of cousin potion to the serum they put into my love._

_He found me; he even let me be free after I almost killed him several times. Because of him, I remembered everything. The night I woke up screaming in the bed we shared because he wanted an eye on me at all times was the same night the rest flooded back to me. I remembered he was my Steve, that I have a daughter Grace, everything I’d known before the damn Hydra soldiers wiped me hundreds and thousands of times. The following day was when I realized Steve loves me in the same way I love him. I told him there are other lands, whispered to him, “There are more worlds than this one. My daughter is trapped in one of them.” Steve promised he would help me find my daughter, and I agreed to show him at least one other world, we told each other we love the other, kissed, and then I found myself in my Storybrooke car._

_The change was so sudden I veered off the road, flipping the car. I’m pretty sure I was trapped under there a half hour clutching the bunny I kept for Grace before I heard footsteps approaching and called out._

 

David had the two of us sit at a table, starting his interrogation while I wiped bits of grit off my face, trying to make sure I remembered correctly. I checked at least seven times over, but I’ve had enough trouble with memory in the past to know the difference between the false and true ones, and fortunately, sadly, and partially pleasantly, I knew my first kiss with Steve Rogers was the last occurrence in that world.

 

Considering my predicament, I knew I had much more useful things to be doing than answering Prince Charming's pointless questions. No doubt he was annoyed at how distracted I was. It didn’t help that he plopped my ruined hat onto the café table, which I would have really appreciated to be in ready shape to return to Steve with Grace, or… bring Steve here.

 

“Can you get me through?” He asked.

 

I shook my head. “No.”

 

“Can you get them back? Can you get it to work?”

 

 _What a wonderful world that would be_ , I thought, bringing a laugh at his ridiculous assumptions about my work. “If you only knew.” If I knew how to fix it quickly -and without the savior’s magic or any magic- I wouldn’t have spent years wasting my time and watching Grace as Paige live without me.

 

David sighed. “Okay, you had a little girl's tea set in your car and a stuffed rabbit toy, so I'm thinking you have a daughter you love.” That was a bit of a low blow, as correct as it was. ”Well, I do, too, and a wife, and they're out there somewhere, in the Enchanted Forest or a void. I don't even know, but I'm going to get them back.”

 

“They’re in the Enchanted Forest. That’s for sure. I just can’t get there.” They definitely aren’t experienced enough to bring themselves anywhere else.

 

“It still exists?” David asked in surprise.

 

“It exists. I don’t know if that matters since we can’t go there,” I reminded him of my ruined hat, which I didn’t plan on letting go anytime soon.

 

David’s voice was low and angry. “So you won’t help me.” Well, it seems I’ll really have to shove it in his face for him to understand.

 

“I’m a portal jumper, and you destroyed my portal, so you’re out of luck.”

 

He might have meant something else because he was out of his chair seconds later and pulling me intimidatingly closer by my scarf. (Earlier I’d realized my attire had changed to what Steve’s world would classify as… maybe too stylish. No matter, I anticipated him seeing me in a few of my pairs of tighter styled pants.) “Well, I’m the closest thing left to a sheriff here so I could just throw you in a cell until you figure out a way.”

 

“Then all we’ll do is both _sit_ , _stuck_ … two lives in our heads, cursed worse than ever.” At that he let me go, though pushed me back against my seat. I continued because he needed to understand, and I was getting sick of this pointless talk. “Two lives forever at odds. Double the pain… double the suffering-” I didn’t finish because I was starting to worry he actually would leave me in a cell, powerless to find Grace and fix a new hat and get to Steve. I pushed the table against him and ran as fast as I could, past the girl who works at the diner and around the corner. It was a long ten minutes until I slowed down, realizing David had stopped following me. I kept walking around less populated parts of town, through the night, before reluctantly going home, and only for a short nap and a cup of tea to keep my body functioning at least for now.

 

I left the house after tea and changed my shirt and pants -careful to hide my arm with coat and gloves- to find it was already about noon, so the nap wasn’t short whatsoever. To be fair I had been walking past midnight and live far from main town. My intentions for this afternoon were to keep walking in the backroads, wishing they had all forgotten about me and that they’ll realize I’m no help to them. This plan fell through, of course.

 

There was a sheet of paper on the telephone pole I just passed, a roughly drawn picture and a caption, “Have you seen my papa?” My Grace called me papa, someone… a little girl Steve and I met in a home wanted to call me papa. I had the sudden trepidation that she would hate me; I left her all those years alone, breaking every promise I made to be back and have tea many more times. Wouldn’t any child resent a parent who lied and abandoned them? Would the other family raise her better than I ever could and have in the past?

 

Taking the picture down and folding it for the moment, I walked the few more paces to the docks and took a seat there, then took the paper back out, hoping it would give me the push to find her. She would be in school now, maybe I’d find her out playing with all of her friends. Maybe her family had put up these posters and she would give me one look and turn the other way.

 

In hindsight I’m grateful Henry came up to me then, stopping me from bringing up worse scenarios. Even though I was suddenly aware that I had been staring at the paper in my grasp for longer than deemably normal.

 

I now have a few answers from him before he brought up that he needs help and I reminded him that I can’t. Now I know that everyone remembers (which I was pretty sure of, already) and magic is back, plus I was last here not two weeks ago. The discussion we had was fortunately short after that, kid had a persistence that would probably get him killed some day, just like Steve’s. But that wasn’t what got to me. Well, it was partly his persistence, but mostly it was what he said: _“Not knowing is the worst.”_ Yeah, I became the expert of not knowing and things like that. He was right, she should at least know and - and maybe I can explain what happened.

 

As I walked away I was struck with the sudden truth: that I couldn’t wait to see Steve again no matter the circumstances and couldn’t wait to introduce him to Grace, and--to be even more sappy--to have Steve run his hands through my hair again.

Knowing him, he’ll be glad to understand why one day when I was recovering and adjusting into having free will I asked for a haircut like this, ending up whispering that “It feels right” and enjoying Steve’s beaming smile in response.

He’d be all polite with “ma’am”s and “miss”, still a bit in our younger era, and Grace would smile and call him “sir” and tell him that he would be a welcome guest at the next tea party… If she still liked tea parties. I was going to see my Grace and eventually my Steve, I hadn’t much right to ask for more after my time as the Winter Soldier. I was getting a family.


	3. Brief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The very short followings with family reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intend to lengthen future chapters, I have not done well with writing. I wrote this chapter's draft at least nearly a year ago by now, the pronouns changed because I was less official. Future chapters I hope to keep in third person, I apologize for the switch. I no longer have a beta reader.

He met with Grace that evening. His legs were shaking as he watched her behind the wooden post. After a few moments he slowly walked out of the waiting spot and hesitated before calling, “Grace.” She abruptly stopped and twisted around, her schoolmates continuing on their way. This preceded a tense few seconds while he nervously waited for the resentful response he expected. Instead she immediately ran up to him with a sparkling smile, and he found himself crouched down with arms around her and hers around him.

 

“You found me, I knew you would,” She wasn’t mad whatsoever, and he was so grateful.  _ Of course I would, I promised to return to you. _ Then, realizing he couldn’t bear to let her go, he stood with ease(especially with the arm) and walked them to his new car.

  
  


`~~~~~`````~`~~`~``~~`~~~~~~~``~~~`

  
  


Grace followed him to the kitchen and set her bag down next to the chair she sat on. Jefferson immediately began making tea and ended up letting the silence stay while the kettle boiled.

 

“How-um… How are you? Is… school well?” He set the cups of tea in front of them, finally speaking and leaning against the counter between them.

 

She laughed at the awkward question as she looked up. He missed seeing that smile every time they drank tea. “I’m fine, school is nice with Ms. Margaret as the teacher. How are you?”

 

“Good.” There was silence for a moment.

 

“I missed you, I haven’t told my family I remember you yet.”

 

That reality had him worrying: Has she seen that family yet? She must not have since he picked her up from the bus stop. “Shouldn’t you… go check in with them?”

 

She bit her lip, taking another sip of tea. “Yeah… Can I come back here, though, afterwards?“ He didn’t have a good response, and as much as he knew she belongs with him, that family has taken care of her, and in a much safer way than their own lifestyle has been.

 

“Depends what the other family says; They did take care of you.” They finished their tea and he put the mugs by the sink while Grace put on her backpack.

 

`~~~~~`````~`~~`~``~~`~~~~~~~``~~~`

  
  
They walked into town together after Jefferson retrieved her teddy bear from his car. The smile she gave him, despite her growth out of stuffed animal years, made him grateful for remembering  to return to his broken car to get it. He was startled when they started towards Grace’s house by one of her thin hands lightly grabbing onto his coat sleeve at the wrist, an old habit from their lives in an unsafe forest. He relaxed quickly, relieved that he was walking to her left. They shared a smile for most of the walk.


End file.
